Have you ever felt anxious when your partner doesn’t text back? Or found yourself pulling away just when things start getting serious? If yes, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too—caught in loops of confusion, wondering why love feels harder than it should.
Turns out, a lot of it comes down to something we rarely think about as adults—our attachment style.
What Is an Attachment Style in Relationships?
Your attachment style is basically the emotional blueprint you developed in childhood based on how your caregivers responded to your needs. These early patterns shape how you connect, trust, and respond in close relationships today.
I didn’t realize for the longest time that my fear of abandonment wasn’t just me “overthinking.” It was rooted in how I was emotionally wired as a child. That discovery changed everything.
The 4 Main Attachment Styles
Here’s a quick breakdown I wish I had come across earlier:
- Secure Attachment – Comfortable with intimacy and independence. They trust easily and communicate openly.
- Anxious Attachment – Crave closeness but fear abandonment. They often worry their partner doesn’t love them enough.
- Avoidant Attachment – Value independence so much that they struggle with emotional closeness.
Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) – Want love but are scared of getting hurt. They often send mixed signals.
How My Attachment Style Played Out in Relationships
In my case, I always needed constant reassurance. A simple “goodnight” text missing would send me spiraling. My partners didn’t always understand, and I didn’t know how to explain it—because I didn’t understand it myself. I now know I had an anxious attachment style.
Once I started therapy and read about attachment theory, it was like a lightbulb turned on. I wasn’t “too sensitive”—I was reacting based on old wounds.
Is Your Childhood Still Affecting You?
Ask yourself:
- Do you fear being abandoned or rejected?
- Do you push people away when they get too close?
- Do you often fall for emotionally unavailable people?
If these resonate, it might be worth exploring your attachment style. Recognizing the pattern is the first step toward breaking it.
Healing Begins With Awareness
Changing your attachment style isn’t instant. But it’s 100% possible. Here’s what helped me:
- Self-reflection – Journaling helped me connect past patterns with present triggers.
- Therapy – Speaking to a relationship coach at Maitripushp gave me personalized tools.
- Safe Relationships – Surrounding myself with emotionally available people helped me feel secure.
Attachment styles are emotional patterns formed in early childhood that affect how we connect with others in adult relationships. The four main types are secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant.
Yes, your early relationships with caregivers shape your beliefs about love, trust, and closeness. These unconscious patterns can heavily influence how you behave in romantic relationships today.
Absolutely. While attachment styles are formed early, they can shift through self-awareness, therapy, and healthy relationship experiences.
You can identify your attachment style by reflecting on your behavior in relationships or by taking an attachment style quiz. Working with a relationship coach or therapist can give you deeper insights.
Maitripushp offers 1:1 coaching sessions with trained relationship experts who help you understand your attachment patterns and guide you toward secure, emotionally fulfilling relationships.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken
Understanding your attachment style and relationships can feel overwhelming, but it’s also empowering. You’re not broken—you’re just wired a certain way. And the good news? Wiring can change.
If you’re struggling to connect, communicate, or feel safe in love, it’s okay to seek support. I did—and it was the best decision of my life.
Need help understanding your attachment patterns?
We at Maitripushp offer 1:1 sessions with expert relationship coaches. Together, we’ll help you break free from old cycles and build healthy, secure relationships.
